We all do things that are not in accordance to God's plan. We sometimes live our lives by a different understanding. This is especially true for me and my spiritual walk. It was not until I met my wife, Catherine, that I even began my Christian life. We did not do all the things we should have in our relationship and God has found a way to let me know that through our struggles early on. I also know that I will have to answer to God for all my life decisions.
When Catherine and I married, she had three young children (all under the age of 6) and shortly after getting married, she became pregnant with her fourth child. Now having been married for 6 years, we have 5 beautiful children (three from her first marriage and two together). At times it is a difficult task for me to be a step-father for fear that I might step on the toes of their real father. What I have learned in the time that I have had Catherine's older children in my life is that no matter what that I love them as my own and I have their respect because of how I expect them to live.
We are a home-schooling family (after several years in the public school system) and my expectation is that each of the kids put their BEST effort in what they do to be successful with home-schooling and with life. I do not expect straight A's. My expectation is that they do the best that they can and give praise to God for their success as well as their failures. It has not been a simple task along the way. Catherine's eldest daughter did have some struggles when we started and still does have struggles even today. During a Christmas break while in the first year of home-schooling, I sat down with her and discussed a few things to include expectations. I made it clear to her that I may not be her real father but I expect her to follow the rules that I set forth in my home. She promptly replied "I look at you as more my real father." Talk about an emotional afternoon and she went into detail that said that she need to have some real structure and rules. Even in her struggles now, she knows that she can look to her mother and I for spiritual guidance.
It is not easy having a blended family. I am learning that every single day. What I do know is that I have a duty to treat each of these children as if they were my own and raise them with the best spiritual guidance possible. I know that I am in for a difficult road but it is something that I signed up for the day I said "I do" and that will not change until God calls me home.
It is not all about flesh and blood but more about the love that is given to a child regardless of their relationship to you. If they see that they are loved, they will let you in and that is the most incredible feeling in the world. I know because I see that with Catherine's 9 year old each and every time she has a problem or is seeking guidance. It was shown the day she decided that she wanted to be baptized. She approached me and asked me to baptize her. That was a VERY proud day in my life.
In closing, I can tell you that having a blended family takes a lot of work and you will have some struggles. Take the time to pray for guidance and remember to lovingly guide them towards God. This is a journey that I will never regret and I am thankful to God for this journey.
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